He had ordered a last meal of Peking Duck,

He had ordered a last meal of Peking Duck, to buy his lawyer three extra days for appeals. But it was hard to plead his case when that Youtube vid of him laughing as he annihilated

a whole speedball in the buff at his 8-year old's birthday party. He tried to argue that

everyone else was doing it too, but unfortunately his wife had just finished up a Critical Thinking course down at the local JC and knew that was a fallacy of logic. He agreed

to let her drive the boat, but only if she let him "go all the way with her" more than once a month. Overjoyed, she grabbed the stick and yanked. The boat lurched from the pier

but she had failed to untie the stern cleat and the transom gave a loud groan as the line became tight. Which would give way first; the spring line, the cleats or the transom? Sex

tillion regrets were of no use now. The boat held, but the tension tore the dock loose. The jammed throttle and the spring line pulled it and five docked boats straight toward her.

"At this rate, we'll be up the creek without a paddle in no time," she thought, the momentum of the dock and boats propelling her towards Calamity Creek. Little Toot (the Tug Boat)

was happily tugging a cruise ship when he thought he saw something in the water. Little Toot slowed down... She thought she was nearly there when she looked behind her and saw the

that the cruise ship was long gone. Little Toot began frantically tugging around in circles for lack of a better plan. Although he was a sage of sorts among the Tugboat community,