My boyfriend likes to play video games. That

Who am I kidding? My boyfriend's projected virtual bloodlust is normal for XBox Live players. Even my girlfriends are trying hard to be hipster chicks who shoot digital people.

Recognizing our violent tendencies, we all agreed to try a new hobby: virtual cow tipping. We'd gather every Friday night at Jim's house and everything started off great. But then

a virtual farmer stormed out of his house with a shotgun & threatened to blow the heads off our virtual pranksters if we virtually tipped any more of his cows. We had no choice but

to generate a Mandelbrot landscape to hide in. Our hideout located at 0.3750001200618655,-0.2166393884377127 seemed safe, but the virtual farmer had a virtual bloodhound

who was incredibly cute with his floppy large eyes and dopey eyes. The virtual bloodhound ate an awfully large amount of virtual food and had gigantic virtual poop that needed to

be virtually wiped with a virtual three sheets of virtual toilet paper because my mom was a virtual cheapskate who virtually tried to save every virtual dollar by letting us

eat sugar sandwiches. I put the VR goggles down. My past faded into afterimages.Tears hold onto my lashes with surface tension. I sip some Tang and think about earth.

Soon my supplies of Tang will be exhausted & with them my last tangible link with Earth. I've tried but I don't have the necessary noxious chemicals to recreate it in my space lab

. So I've eaten my last tube of peanut butter & mixed some Tang with 1 part water to 10 parts Tang. I can barely suck the thick sludge through my straw, but it should do the trick.