'I'd just cleaned that!' I shouted, as my

'I'd just cleaned that!' I shouted, as my room mate, a young vampire, started taking selfies from the ceiling. He wasn't listening, so I went to get a broom to swat at him with.

The indignant vampire hissed at me in between his ceiling selfies. I poked my roommate with the broom like a cattle prod until he slunk back to the floor. "What was that for!" he

is NOT cool. Not cool at all." He looked at me like he didn't understand I got mad at him for gutting a person in MY appartement. I turned around and headed for the kitchen.

"You can't gut a person...without ketchup!" I said as I grabbed a bottle of goodness. I threw the bottle at him, and he caught it in a smooth motion and squeezed it on to the body.

"There!" I said, putting the finishing touches of ketchup.But the effect was ruined when the dog came & licked the ketchup off the dead body. "Bad dog!" I cried, slapping it out of

reach (the body weighed almost nothing).My hand was now imprinted on it's dead cheek.I kinda liked it."Needs more mustard,though."I grapped some samples and threw them onto the bod

a bag that I had tied real tight just beneath my armpits. This Boda bag was great, I'd gotten from a RenFair through a real peaknuckle of a deal. This Warlock named Josh had just

Returned from seeing the Grateful Dead, and was stoned. Jerry Garcia walked in the room, serving Cherry Garcia ice cream from Ben & Jerry's. It was his secret recipe, often copied.

never duplicated. moi et Jerry, mon' chère he said with a wink. Took out a hip flask hanging on a chain warmed on his hairy chest & poured a shot of sherry on top. It was da bomb!