I wanted to take my dearly beloved and cut

I wanted to take my dearly beloved and cut 1 inch deep cuts all over her body. I would then rip out her bladder, with my own bare hands, and fill each slice with her own urine.

And then I realized, "Wow, that's a pretty ugly thing to do. Instead, why don't we play a game of Tiddlywinks or Break the Ice or something innocuous like that?"

"Or we could read Lord of the Flies", Sassy replied. I said "Yeah, I like the part where Piggy dies. Super gruesome man." "Totally" she said in a stereotypical British accent.

And that's when we knew it was the second coming. The end of days. Although the good people left for heaven and the rest of stayed here, I had a gun and a bottle of Jack.

I was holed up in a looted 7-11. It was a prepper's worst nightmare to get caught with his pants down. All my provisions in my bunker at home, and a horde of demons and the damned

I bumped into my Purple Bunny I had when I was 5. He put down his Blue Slurpie. "Why am I always in the 7-11 pantless dream? Can't you imagine anything else?"

I woke up all drooly. How low is it when even your dream bunny is giving you grief? I googled my dream's meaning: 'You will travel'. So I booked a ticket on the next rocket to Venu

s and began to pack. How does one even begin to pack for a trip to Venus? What was I thinking! I grabbed a grocery sack and began to place my things in it: a comb, razor,

And some tampons, just in case. He got in his space shuttle and set off, soaring in the sky, but a minor break down caused the whole shuttle to crash downwards, killing him.