I was out of food, water and batteries.

I was out of food, water and batteries. The river stood before me and behind, in the jungle, the grunts of the monkeys closed in.

give me was my first experience with an actual Amazon woman. There I was, lost in the jungle, naked & alone. She suddenly appeared from the mist, her dark eyes glittering, her

hair glowing in the rain forest mist. The Amazon flung my naked body with one arm over her shoulder and swung into the vines. I was dizzy in her embrace. "Hi, I'm Wally."

I smalltalked my way through my fear of heights, vines, & tall silent women. We arrived in the Amazon's village I was made to understand they needed a new doner, me an accountant!

I had no choice anyway. One night I drank something strange and woke up two days later missing a kidney. They gave it back to me, in a jar, and told me to keep it safe.

I kissed the jar goodnight and put it under the pillow before night time, being it the safest place I had in my little apartment. Little did I know about the organ harvesting fairy

in the apartment below mine, or the organ fairy's ties to Malthusia Blighton. Overnight I thought I heard loud snoring, but woke to find a hole under my bed and the jar was missing

and a small gold coin left in its place. I was so excited I rushed to the mirror to look for any marks left by the organ fairies visit. To my surprise I discovered several wounds

All over my chest and arms, they were closed with stitches I passed out for the sudden ache. Those nasty little creatures killed meI passed out and that's the last thing I remember