He fell in love with her smile. The lines

He fell in love with her smile. The lines of crooked teeth like a miniature stonehenge begged for his orthodontic prowess.

During the vernal equinox, the stars aligned with her smile. He was madly in love with her and vowed to straighten her teeth for just cost. "Oh yeth, deaerth pleath!" she said.

He was so in love he didn't feel the pain as he punched his crooked-teeth beloved in the mouth. Her teeth fell like stones and blood bubbled and she smiled and said, "Shank You"

He awoke from his reverie in horror, and looked down and around, just to make sure he hadn't really smacked her. When he looked up again, there she was, smiling at him as if she h

osted a game show. It had always bothered me how we had to humor my mother's game show fantasy. Like always having to guess the price of dinner before getting to eat. Or buying a v

intage microphone so she could ask my friends about their dating potential. I decided to put my foot down when I started to hear canned laughter eminating from hidden

Chef Boyardee ravioli cans on the shelf. I opened them - not a ravioli to be found, just laughter. "You guys, how can I date in the apocalypse if our food is joke shop novelties?"

But the insight the Apocalypse gave told me that the canned food was OK even tho' past expiry date. I said to my girlfriend: "Lo shall ye feast on Spam and BBQ baked beans. Verily

forsooth gobbledygook ountoxed whilst mome raths outgrabe." My shellshocked GF looked at me, slack-jawed. We both cracked open the spam. Its shape was the omen: a baby's head.