I did a monstrous number of respectable things

I did a monstrous number of respectable things for a lot of bad people—or maybe I did a substantial number of terrible things for a lot of good people. I hate people. I love me.

So it didn't really matter if I did terrible things or respectable things or who I did it for. What mattered was that my bank account got big enough for me to move to my dream home

iss. But first I would need to assemble a team capable of pulling off the heist. I knew that Babbica would join me, and with some coercion Jobey and Platt would come along as well.

We ran into an obstacle when I called on Dougie for the alarm systems. His father had died and he couldn't take the job without his mother in tow. "Does she have any skills?" "Snip

Ping my ears off and dying my hair red with the blood?" I looked at him for a second. "Not sure how great she'd be for installing alarm systems, but she could work at my saugage fa

." When she arrived, everyone at the saugage fa was in full swing, awaiting the arrival of their great swami, fa baker. "All hail the holy fa!" they chanted, windmilling their arms

in perfect unison. Then a sausage guru stepped forward and said "Oh holy fa! We have all wondered for years, what does fa actually mean?" The fa simply replied "It's an acronym for

'fervently ardent'. And please put down that sausage. I find it strangely fascinating." The sausage guru hung his head and said "As you wish, O fa," and hid it under his vestments.

And then he disappeared into the crowd. Looking back, all those years ago, I wish I'd produced a bun & requested condiments, for I never met another like him. He was a real weiner.