I was having tea with the vicar yesterday.

I was having tea with the vicar yesterday. He picked up a knife. "Cake?" he said. "Or death?" I joked. The Rev. looked at me strangely. I looked at the knife in his hand and swallo

wed. "Death," I said politely. The vicar drew closer with the steel knife, "Really?" "Whoops, changed my mind, I'll have the cake." The vicar smiled "Oh sorry, fresh out of cake."

I returned the smile and whipped out a fig newton. "No problemo, brought my own!" The vicar was still poised to knife me. "That's just a cookie." "No," I said "it's fruit and cake"

The vicar was most displeased, having eaten the remaining cake so that "death" would seemingly be the only remaining option. He moved on to a widow he spied eyeing the jelly.

"Jelly eyes, have ye now?" the vicar asked the widow, almost as if he was an Irish pirate. The widow saw what the vicar had done, so she grabbed the jelly jar & jumped overboard.

"Madam overboard!" yelled the vicar. He didn't care whether she drowned, but he wanted the jelly jar back. But Widow Kipling held her breath and the jar 'til only the ships wake

betrayed any indication that it had passed that way. Surfacing, WK opened the jelly jar at long last, releasing the gellie genie. After a deep breath of the refreshing sea air,

shook and trembled greater than a Los Angeles bungalow during a 7.0 earthquake. Then the Gellie Genie passed gas and broke the lenses on WK's glasses. "Oh, my!"

was the last sound any of them, or anyone, ever heard. After all that had happened, the shaking and the gas were the straw that broke poor WK's back, so he simply pulled the plug.