"Get Bob here." Lord Drak looked down at

"Get Bob here." Lord Drak looked down at his army of minions and sighed. Who in R&D thought it was a good idea to give ninjas jet packs? Stealth and rocket power just didn't mix.

It was pointed and green and seemed to be listening to his approaching steps. Drak stamped on the ear. He heard a loud shout from a curtain at the back of the room.

"Drak, be gentle with the ear prop!" said the stage manager. "And no bloodsucking during kissing scenes. We're out of female understudies." Drak wanted to turn into a bat, but he

was afraid of the giant, electric bug killer hanging in the prop room, so Drak sat on a folding chair instead. How'd it get so fucked up so fast Drak wondered. He was a great Count

Chocula Fan Club member, no, founder, and Drak was not going to take it anymore. He know what its like to have over-zealous fans. Like that time that Edd tried to

kidnap the object of his obsession with an elaborately planned ruse involving a catering company, misleading craigslist posts and a Batman-voice-impersonator. Edd

yville, Tennessee was where he was headed. Careening around the Smokies in his Batman catering truck, he nearly missed the Eddyville exit. 4021 Park St. Craigslist had said. The

sun beamed down on the road and formed shimmering mirages over the pavement, such as those his father would point out to him on their long, lazy road trips of his childhood. Wasn't

long before one of those mirages turned out to be a massive sinkhole that swallowed their car. They were lucky to be alive, but now they were stranded in the middle of nowhere.