"...and then I was traded for a million dollars,"
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"...and then I was traded for a million dollars," Giant Old Squid Man finished. "The rest is history." The Squid grandchildren sat at his feet, enraptured. "Tell us about the time
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you ate 12 ships and their crews in one day!" Giant Old Squid Man's eye's twinkled with glee. "Ah yes. My proudest accomplishment. Well, the day began pretty quiet, but then I saw
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a nor'wester blowin a rum looking packet my way. It had a superstructure enclosing the decks, apparently as defense against Giant Middle Aged Squid Men like me. I ripped the flimsy
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braces & relishing the next bit, extended my giant middle aged squidman tentacle into the interior but I made an strange movement feeling a terrible spasm. I'd herniated a tentacle
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or two but so what. My tentacles have crazy suckers on them. I can crush metal with my beak. As a middle-aged squidman I put those beaded things on my car seat, it helps
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with the mojo. Plus, my back was killing me. Most of the squidmen in my family either had back problems or high ink counts. I had both. But I could still party days on end. I wante
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d nothing more than to keep on waterbed-surfing around the glittering globe and an endless supply of fine writing paper with deckled edges, but my poor squidman's back reminded me
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of a tortoise with acne. It'd gotten rounded, and was horrifically pock-marked. I began applying a steady regimen of essential oils to squidman's back with hopes that his waterbed
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would support him. My client requested bergamot but all I had was patchouli. As I drizzled Squidman in essential oil, his wife slithered in and sniffed the air.
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Unfortunately the oil disguised the natural scent of her mate. She identified him as a foe & shot off a couple of arms which fatally pierced his mantle. He died in a puddle of ink.
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- Started
- 2014-11-04 14:03:26
- Finished
- 2014-11-07 17:18:11
7 Comments
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Gibber Nov 07 2014 @ 19:13
Some of you may recognize the influence of William Hope Hodgson on my fold. He was the writer of many fine nautical tales.
PurpleProf Nov 07 2014 @ 20:54
Let's keep this going! http://foldingstory.com/34r4m/
lucielucie Nov 08 2014 @ 13:14
I've got the W H Hodgson joke book. 'Is that a rum looking packet blowin my way or are you just pleased to see me?' is one of his. On a more serious note, I researched squid fighting & squid don't actually shoot off their tentacles like bazookas. There's species that hooks on & then breaks off their tentacles along breakage points. The tentacles have glowing tips so while the recipient is going, " What the...?" the squid scuttle off. The same species attaches packets of sperm to any passing squid regardless of its sex or whether it wants it or not. Hence the above joke.
SlimWhitman Nov 08 2014 @ 13:38
Octopi have detachable peni. http://foldingstory.com/3yhes/ just thought i'd throw that in.
Gibber Nov 08 2014 @ 13:49
Do you have eight arms or are you just pleased to see me? The seven-arm octopus is so named because in males the hectocotylus (a specially modified arm used in egg fertilization) is coiled in a sac beneath the right eye.
lucielucie Nov 08 2014 @ 16:39
FS is cephalapodology boot camp.
SlimWhitman Nov 08 2014 @ 17:42
And gathering space for krakenonlogists... The Kraken builds the mystique http://foldingstory.com/vg3j9/ The Kraken, Leviathan from the Deep http://foldingstory.com/08td4/ Rumsfeld Kraken http://foldingstory.com/what9/