Against my better judgement I decided I would

Against my better judgement I decided I would try to be civil. When I offered him a drink he sneered at my offered cup of pickle juice. He acted like I had insulted him & his mater

ial sciences degree from the University of Pluto. I had, earlier, before he even got there. So there was no way he could know that is how I felt about him. I deliberately drank the

water out of his dish, hoping he would die of thirst. My University of Pluto dog obedience school degree had not included a course in manners. Then I barked at the kids in the pool

,the mailman, the maid, the nanny, the plumber, the next door neighbor, other dogs, the creaking floor, a cat,my shadow, & an intruder, but he gave me a piece of steak & I shut up.

Gnawing contentedly on my steak, it suddenly occurred to me that I was the luckiest dog in the universe. Heck, just last week, I was wandering, dazed & confused, through the ghetto

, sleeping behind dumpsters in back of the Piggly Wiggly, and having encounters with Pit-bulls, Dobermans, and Mastiffs--God...I'm so glad to back Uptown with all the Poodles and

Chihuahuas who barked encessantly at me... wait... "I HATE CHIHUAHUAS!!" I cried in anger, throwing off the brainwashing dog scientists in a frenzy.

I threw my iPhone at them and they chewed it into 3,846,845.shards. then the chihuahuas vanished Dr. Cgeuksjkfgy asked what went wrong with our experiment. It definitely was a

we wouldn't let the doctor drink coffee after 1am in the morning.