My name is Nicole Starmen I was at starbucks

  • My name is Nicole Starmen I was at starbucks ordering my drink but realize I had left my wallet at home. I heard a huskey british voice that sounded like Harry Styles.

  • say, "I'll pick that up for you. Wait, is this a pick-up line?" He winked. My jaw dropped. "I'm a.. Starmen." I stammered. "So am I" Styles replied. Then the barista yelled

  • something about how her professors promised she could get a real job with a degree in English and Literature. He leaned in close and whispered, "Do you want to get out of here and

  • conjugate at my place?" Suddenly moist, she stammered something that must have sounded like "OK". He touched the small of her back & she felt a bit like Jane Eyre.

  • "Actually, Mr. Rochester, I must decline your invitation to conjugate" she muttered breathlessly, hoping against hope that her attempt at grammatical humor would not dissuade him.

  • Mr. Rochester paused. Could she possibly have declined his advances, in such a breathless, comely manner? And so politely, he noted. "Then," he said, "at this present participle, I

  • run off to the coast of Panama and sail in my yacht! See yah losers!!!!" Mr. Rochester was soon fired.

  • Jobless, Mr. Rochester was pleasantly surprised to learn that the condo his mother had left him had quadrupled in value. He cashed out and headed not south, but north. North to the

  • place where sandwiches were a staple; Mexico.

  • Regis smiled. "A place where sandwiches are a staple. And you said... Mexico? Is that your final answer?" I nodded my head. "Final answer." Then I thought, "No, wait TACOS! (damn)"



  1. franjiru Jan 20 2016 @ 04:53

    Ándale güey! We need more TACOS in our lifes!

  2. SlimWhitman Jan 20 2016 @ 05:31

    The little known surrealist British painter Winston Rochester the 3rd create the work "This is not a sandwich" in Eglwyswrw 3 years before "Ceci n'est pas une pipe." Unfortunately it was mistaken for a taco and passed into obscurity.

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