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This is worth it for the kitty attack.

  • This is worth it for the kitty attack.

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  • "I can't tell if that's sexual or just cute, but okay," I said. The carny gave me a ticket and showed me to a secret back tent with a stage and raucous fans. Back-tent displays

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  • are where its at at the carnival. Not every Carny will let a regular slob like me see what's in that back tent. But I'd brough a sixer of Miller and now, this Carney is leading me

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  • through a maze of canvas, smelling intoxicatingly of elephant dung & cotton candy. It was soon pitch dark. I bumped into the Carney's back. "We've arrived," he said mysteriously &

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  • really creepily. I felt dumb for accepting his invitation out here alone. His name was even Carney for gods sake. "Arrived where?" I mumbled, fear gripping my heart. "Your

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  • crazy." "Yes, I am," replied Carney, his eyes whirling around like a carousel. He handed me a candy apple. "Look at this" He pulled back the tent flap to reveal a two-headed

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  • snake, both heads hissing and spitting acid. "Wow!" I cried. "What other secrets does this circus hold?" "Oh mah boy," Carney said, "We haven't even scratched the surface."

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  • ...So that was it. He showed me around the big top, pointing out the five support beams and their pentagram-like shape. So that was how I ended up getting mixed up in summoning a

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  • Lovecraftian squid god. I took the chalice of Yak's blood and placed it into the center of the pentacle, before returning to my corner and saying the magic words in Italian: "Zorp

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  • con formaggio per favore squidino!" The pepper pot of doom rose and groundfairy dust all over the yaks blood transforming it into a white bunny. Somewhere I heard a squid snigger.

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