"You know why they have musk-mellons at weddings?

"You know why they have musk-mellons at weddings? because they CANTALOPE!" The bride rolled her eyes heaven-ward. Why did he pick HIM for the Best-Man, Why?

Because he was He-Man. Master of the Universe. He-Man would always be the Best-Man. He was immature, but that was because he watched all those Vince Vaughn movies the night

before he went fishing off the windswept coast. He-Man loved to fish from the rocks at his special spot or off the beach with a big rod. He-Man would also go spear fishing but

this time was a special journey for he-man to the edge of the earth for the great

grey-green greasy Limpopo River Race. The He-Man was feeling just so-so about his chances, however. Still, it was indeed a special journey he had to attempt. He had promised his

running mate, Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce, that she wouldn't have to change her name to Fraser-Pryce-Man if they married, in exchange for being the anchor. He-Man stunned the crowd by

The next day the reporter's column panned the Midsommarfest Queen Pageant and said it was a total sham. The man that had been crowned the night before was beside himself! He had

to return the chintzy crown and pay back the prize money. Or did he? No way he thought packing his bags for Hawaii. They'd never take his Midsommarfest crown.

On board, startled flight attendants showed him to first class, calling him "Your Majesty". Upon landing, thousands of locals kneeled reverently.He's been on the throne ever since.