"You're not going out looking like that,"

  • "You're not going out looking like that," she told her husband. He assessed his appearance: yellow duckie inner tube, clown shoes, bermuda jumpsuit, and

  • bowtie. "Look," he said "the invite says black tie, and my bowtie is black. If your stuffy ass friends don't like my inner tube they can go

  • blow a dandelion." He pushed past the hosts to the buffet where a feast of hazelnut stuffed flamingo tempted him as much as the ice-sculpture of Burt Reynolds nearby. "If only

  • there were a Goldie Hawn look-alike-contest, then this lame party would be somewhat interesting." Nonetheless... He Kept walking until he found an empty chair to sit and enjoy his

  • Tequila Sunrise with a pink umbrella. He crossed his legs in the lawn chair and waited for Miss Right to walk by. The party suddenly got interesting when a Goldie Hawn look-a-like

  • starting making out with a Gilbert Godfried look-a-like. He spilled his Tequila Sunrise on his Toad the Wet Sprocket shirt. This was some block party, and then a shadow came

  • to dance. Which wasn't the best thing that could have happened; when the Shadow danced, everyone watched. Even his Toad the Wet Sprocket shirt wouldn't be able to

  • look away; it was a physical ailment, having to watch the Shadow dance. And it wasn't even a particularly good dancer. Luckily, someone managed to

  • get successful campaigns to vote for everyone else out there, and sure enough, the Shadow was kicked off Dancing with the Stars the very next week. The Grim Reaper was upset

  • and replaced the Shadow on the next show. After getting a poor score for the Cha Cha Cha, his freestyle "Dance of Death" interpretation brought down the house. I mean literally.



  1. SlimWhitman Sep 10 2011 @ 16:52

    Nice folds! Had my LOLing more than once. Wish the Block parties around here were more like that... Well not literally. ;-)

  2. buddyboy4711 Sep 11 2011 @ 07:43

    I don't own a black tie. But I would buy one just for this.

  3. MoralEnd Sep 22 2011 @ 18:05

    Congratulations all on being in the featured story of the month.

  4. buddyboy4711 Sep 22 2011 @ 18:24

    And here's to you, Mr. 3000!

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