Yesterday I was riding my bike to my house

Yesterday I was riding my bike to my house when I saw a puppy skateboarding.

It was the COOLEST moment of my entire life! I want to get a dog and teach it to do something amazing like that. Maybe I'll teach it to

fetch golden coins from the fountain so I can travel the world. Of course, Bowser, my dog would be coming with me on the journey.

Bowser thinks, "Great. off to another adventure in far away lands. Smelling foreign butts, eating foreign dog food and getting foreign ticks." He wimpered at my plaintively, but I

don't speak dog so I couldn't understand his misery. Sometimes I look at my dog Bowser, right in the eyes, for a long time, trying to read his mind, but then I get scared because

he looks right back, and even after I look away he keeps on staring. That's what scares me. I'm never sure what to think of it. Dog behavior will, let's face it, never really be un

settled by the usual conundrums in astrophysics. Does it bother a dog that all the dark matter in the universe has basically been lost? At least this is what I thought until I caug

ht sight of the 1200 lbs. girl. At least, that's what they said. Given the way that space warped around her, I estimated she had the density of a neutron star; the lost dark matter

mattered not. What did matter was that she was traveling towards earth at the speed of light! I quickly calculated that she'd be crashing into China Grove, TX in approximately 2 se