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Another Wright Brother, Hiram, put off by

  • Another Wright Brother, Hiram, put off by the fame of his airborne brothers, became a mining engineer specializing in the drilling of anthracite coal seams, bitumenous on Sundays.

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  • Because his brothers took to the air, Hiram would take to the ground. From a beat-up steam engine combine, he invented the first mole drilling machine. At fairs, he would sell

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  • deep fried pickled herring jelly in coagulated pig's-blood bowls with a buttermilk smoothie. That's how Hiram lost any of the money he gained from the drilling machine, but

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  • now that his arteries were "fortified" with copious amounts of cholesterol from Southern cuisine, Hiram could stop a bullet in its tracks. This came in handy when

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  • a bullet was fired down the tracks. It hit Hiram's femoral artery and ricocheted off the blockage and bounced right up into his left testicle. Swearing, he

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  • cursed the gods, for that had always been his favorite one. He hobbled away, knowing he had to get away from that accursed train station. Just then, he stumbled over

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  • his own two feet. It took his gaze off of the station long enough to catch a glimpse of his estranged brother, Mitch. Mitch hadn't been seen since his wife

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  • amputated his right leg below the knee and roasted the calf/foot combo as an alternative to traditional turkey last Thanksgiving. "Hi, bro, sorry I ate you," I said, inadequately

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  • ."But you were, uh...delicious!" (I didn't tell him the truth. He was stringy, but no use adding insult to injury, right?) My brother hobbled over & hit me with his prosthetic leg.

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  • I developed concussion and had difficulty remembering new information. My brother and I developed a supportive relationship but were never as close as before due to my memory loss.

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