It is a truth universally acknowledged, that

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single wiener dog in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

The shopper looked at the grocery store cashier quizically. "Unless that is the wealthy wiener dog has an equally worthy comrade. Then a wife becomes obsolete." The customer's eye

's narrowed as he considered this. If he could partner up with a wealthy wiener dog... find one that was willing, he'd never have to talk to a woman again. He left the store with

the same arms & legs he had entered with. That was a good sign. It was hot outside. He sat down at a bus stop bench in the shade. Where would he find a willing wealthy wiener dog?

He searched countless doggy blogs and dedicated wiener dog websites for the pampered pooch of his dreams. There were several close calls, but eventually he found

his match. On a fanfiction website, the wolf of his dreams... the alpha female werewolf with a machine gun for a leg appeared. And he no longer wanted any other woman.

This was no ordinary wolf because she also was a concert pianist in her native Poland. Four years later, she released a CD of her Beethoven performances. Quite relaxing indeed.

This reduced wolf-claw piano recording of Peter and the Wolf received lukewarm acclaim. "Lacks tooth" -NYTimes. "I thought there was supposed to be an oboe" - Clueless Listener.

“I know there’s a shortage of French horn players who can effectively portray the wolf, but seriously…KAZOOS?!?” – Entertainment Weekly.