A new Pope has been announced! Hailing from

A new Pope has been announced! Hailing from Taiwan, he is the first Asian Pope in history. Pope Nin Ja has vowed to bring stealthy & lethal social justice to the world. Pope Nin Ja

was pro-abortion and pro-contraception. Pope Nin Ja allowed priests to marry, supported gay priests, allowed women to become bishops, supported gay marriage, educated the public on

top of twisting their minds with children's programming. Pope Nin Ja's favorite weapon was a dirty little show called "Kipper."

Which was about a porpoise that was everybody's friend until a porpoise wasn't needed. At that point you became your own porpoise. Kipper as an idea caught on with totalitarian reg

ularity. For the sake of Kipper, I had to track down the one individual I knew who could choreograph synchronized porpoise ballroom dancing:

Twyla Shark. Twyla's method was to show her teeth and scare the heck out of the porpoises until they learned all the dance steps. "Yes, I knew Kipper," she told me, "he was my

"GINGER, I'M HO-OME!" She gasped; bad enough to be stuck on Gilligan's isle, but that this Neanderthal barges in instead of the Prof was too much. & that was BEFORE Dino charged at

Wilma, who was now seen as an outsider. Wilma had tears in her eyes, "How could you?" "Not sure," Fred replied, cracking open a beer, "I always thought I was more a Mary-Ann guy!"

So Wilma took up with the Professor, changed her name to Wilhelmina, got her PhD in anthropology and declared Fred a Neanderthal.