"Good evening ladies and gentlemen this is

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen this is a final boarding call for Mr Al Kyder travelling to the Cocos Islands with Small Seats Airlines for flight SSA83089 at gate no. 22

was bright pink too, from pulling out her hair over the passengers she'd had to placate all day long. But she painted her scalp blue too, so it was OK. Approaching JFK, the flight

, on such a timeless flight, I thought, "it's gonna be a long, long time ‘til touch down brings me, round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home." I looked at her s

namelessly. "Tell me grey seal," I crooned "how does it feel to be so wise?" She felled me with one swipe of a leathery flipper. To distract her, I threw a ball which she balanced

on the top of her perfect little nose. "So, I was thinking you & I could go clubbing sometime" as soon as the words left my mouth, I knew that was a f'ed up thing to say. No!Not

like to the disco!! I'm not gay or anything!! I mean, let's go bonk some baby seals on the head and make coats out of them. And we can start with the cute one right here.

Let the bonking begin, he said with a wink. If you really need a coat, we could go to my place and sit by the fire and I'll make you waffles in the morning. I still wanted to disco

all night long. I needed no fire. I had a disco fever that was escalating into a disco inferno. "Well, I have waffles AND Get Down Tonight & Boogie Oogie Oogie on 45's," he said.

"Then I think we've got ourselves a new bootleg mix album cover," I grinned waifishly. And so as the credits rolled, we broke out into a fit of epileptic nostalgia.