Being an OB-GYN provides many interesting

Being an OB-GYN provides many interesting opportunities most people could not ever imagine. For example, just the other day, one of my patients named her baby "Placenta." No lie.

I've also been asked to work in Papua New Guinea by their government as they did not have a single specialist in the country to attend to the women. It is rewarding work as many of

fice supplies were sent without any oversight whatsoever. I guess when you work in Papua New Guinea they figure no need to keep tabs on the rulers. That's how I became the Swinglin

Papa Master of measuring instruments, and nobody was gonna find out how far it was between their stapler and the coffee stain on the desk blotter without my say so. "Just try and

knock this photocopier off my shoulder. Go on. I dare ya!" He removed a tin of seal jerky from his breast pocket and placed a pinch under his lower lip. "I dare ya." There was no

My face to the camera. I gave him some cold Perrier to sober him up. I got out and walked a block home. My mum was worried, because he just got his fifth DUI and went to jail again

where the jailers just let him wander the halls between cellblocks sucking his thumb and crying into his baby blanket to remind him what awaited him again if whatever fuckup he was

planning to become became a reality. It was enough to keep his Pampers filled to the brim until he was old enough for Preschool. In later years he looked back fondly at his prison

time using it to inspire generations to come. He called them the dump years. And many referred to avoiding such troubles as skirting the mother load.