39

Attention neighbors, the police have been

  • Attention neighbors, the police have been notified of your toddlers parading unattended down the sidewalk in their motorized cars. Our homeowners association will not tolerate

    5
  • this utter lack of responsibility, and will subsequently raise the property tax rate of your neighborhood by 83.9%.-shouted a enrage police officer. The adults glanced up from

    5
  • their soup, but only momentarily. There were a few murmurs, and a general shrugging of shoulders, but little else. "Vhat is tax rayte?" one was heard to mutter, "Ve haf not moneeys

    5
  • but ve haf ein schwein, ein great big pig." How the hell could I refuse that offer? I knew how to farm taxes & I took that hog home to make sweet bacon.

    3
  • But the hog had other plans. When we got to the house, the hog shot me with a tranquilizer dart.

    4
  • My roommate opened the door. "Dude! Bro! That's awesome!" "Whaat?" I slurred. "You got a frikkin dart sticking out of your neck!" I frowned. "No way." The hog then shot my roommate

    4
  • a furtive glance. We shouldn't be here. I pulled the dart out of his neck. It stank of vampire blood. What to do next?

    4
  • I looked down at my paws, they reeked of defeat. I decided that the only logical thing to do would be to cut them off using a

    4
  • butter knife. It was what I deserved, I shamefully realized. I'd failed and failed miserably. My problem now was, because I lacked opposable thumbs, I would fail at this task too.

    4
  • "Look at its face," said the scientist. "It can only express stupidity." The scientists laughed at me. I tried in desperation to grab the butter knife between my jaws. I leapt.

    1

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!