Mattie Moe Man had finally

Mattie Moe Man had finally

baked the perfect loaf of bread: aromatic, voluminous, butter-accessible. "But no one will buy bread from a guy named Mattie Moe Man," they said. So he changed his name to Sara Lee

, believing that he could sell the bread a lot quicker if his consumers thought he was a woman. However, when he began getting love letters from some of his male customers, he knew

he was playing in the big leagues now. Soon, men from all over the world would come to knead his dough, if you know what I mean.

to say, "I knead you too, handsome." He felt a strange attachment to his silken dough. He was one with his dough. Baking and then selling his bread became an emotionally arduous

task. Just laying it down was simple, but then he had to massage it and rub it with wet hands until it became harder. He then had to put it into a warm place where it could grow

, putting down roots and sprouting tendrils. He tended it carefully until it bloomed - a glorious display of creamy petals which attracted bees, butterflies and humming birds. The

neighborhood children were also drawn to his mutant plant by its strong sugary smell. The rainbow hued tendrils grew rapidly in arabesque profusion, sticking to the little brats

and dragging them into the sweet smell. The children weren't scared.They were smiling. As they were heading to a playground. They were happy. After all, that was all they needed.