Once upon a time, I was a bagger at the food

Once upon a time, I was a bagger at the food hole.

At least, that's how I used to spell it. "Bagger"... guess it was supposed to be "beggar". At the time, burlap were my clothes and sewing kept my decency together. I was poor then.

Seeing as I could only afford a needle, thread, and plastic bags (which were free from the grocery store anyway), I took to the road. I didn't know that I would one day become

a seamstress. Who knew? I was just inspired by the plastic bags. The texture was something I had never experienced before, and it was already waterproof. Perfect for a raincoat!

I slipped the plastic bag over my head, careful to leave a breathable hole. I proceeded to put my legs through the bag's handles before admiring my new waterproof undies. Fabulous!

since these culottes do not have to be ironed!" I smiled maniacally at Jeeves my tear streamed face puffed up and shiny. "The boys at the country club won't get to mock me again!"

Jeeves started to straighten my bow tie. I slapped his hands away & suddenly he snapped! His monacle fell to the floor, he smashed it to smithereens, pulled nunchuks from his vest

. "I say Jeeves, you have me disoriented by your instruments of the orient." I quipped spilling my gin and tonic as his nunchuck almost dislodged my nose. "Wooster, I must protest,

you have no right to keep those shurikens of mine in your chest. Hand them back!" Wincing, I yanked out the one lodged over my heart. "Here," I threw it into his open mouth. Shori.