"Let's play Doctor." "Err.. Dr. Curleigh,

"Let's play Doctor." "Err.. Dr. Curleigh, You ARE my Doctor." "Well I want to be the patient this time. Here put on my smock & stethoscope." "Yes Dr...." "... and don't call me Dr.

" "OK, do-" He shoved a speculum in my mouth. I spat it out. "OK so what seems to be the problem?" I said, wiping the KY jelly from my lips. My "patient" undressed & pointed to his

the small but proud statelet of San Marino. I took the plastic hammer fron my doctors play set and thwacked him between the eyes to test his reflexes. Boy could he move! His naked

and lithe form danced in the moonlight. Some reflexes! Once he quieted, I gazed into his violet eyes and told him that there is no way we can extract the hamster. I'm sorry.

Not the hamster. Not the gerbil. Not the muskrat. Not the meerkat. Nope: the whole lot of them were inextricable. He sighed, thanked her for her effort, and flipped her a silver

dagger. A magic silver dagger. One she could use to escape from any inextricable situation. Too bad the hamster, gerbil, muskrat & meercat didn't have one. He went to China next.

Soon he chased the dragon in a damp, musty opium den. He forgot all about "her" and developed jaundice. One of the dealers was an Imperial scribe who'd written many

long-winded, maudlin and morose poems on the underside of his scrotum. "Where would a dragon hide inside an opium den?" he asked the Imperial scribe. "You mean Puff, the magic dra

g queen? Have you tried the sack marked potatoes?" In the end, of course, there wasn't enough room to write "Fleas. Adam had 'em." Puff had the room, but didn't want to.