I took my dog for a walk around the park

I took my dog for a walk around the park while the boys played football.

suddenly the dog saw a cat and ran after it i fel flat on my face on the muddy feild

to be awoken up in the morning by a farmer munching hay looking over her

murdered father with a leering curiosity. She had fallen asleep with the axe in her hand. Lizzie Borden hoped the farmer didn't go upstairs to see

the crochetwork that she'd botched. The idea of stitching a hammock for the parrot had been a stupid one. She got angry, hence the patricide. When she awoke the axe was missing

a large chunk out of it's blade and parts of her father were everywhere. The parrot kept repeating 'Noooo!', 'Noooooooo!' She couldn't take it any longer so she

Almost, but not quite. It was taking up too much space, and it was a dreadful eyesore. She looked at the tablecloth, then whisked it off and covered her dear departed dad's body.

It wasn't supposed to be like this, this couldn't be the way he died. She slumped to the floor and tweeted what happened before calling the police.

Her mourning friends tried to honour her by making her a trending topic, but it was drowned out by celebrity "deaths" and Justin Bieber fangirls.