I program pet Apps .My best seller's 'Mouser'.

I program pet Apps .My best seller's 'Mouser'. It trains cat's hand eye coordination. Or 'One Fish Two Fish' the screensaver for lonely goldfish. Prop the iPad against the aquarium

I didn't want to jump to conclusions. Maybe he was just mad I switched him to Poland Spring from Evian. My pet iguana turned towards me and then pressed "Enter".

But the button was stuck. The pilot cried in terror at the iguana, "Press it you dumb animal!". But there was nothing that was a solution at this critical point in time.

Let's pause here, take a step back & remember to breathe. There is no earthly reason for the pilot to entertain the notion that the iguana could or should have pressed that button.

And yet, it was hard to ignore the mischievous gleam in the little bugger's eye as he perched on the throttle. The plane lurched downward & the pilot gasped. DAMN IGUANA! GET OFF

MY CONTROLS! The iguana turned, flicked his tongue at me impudently, and then leaped through the cockpit windshield and parachuted towards the island. I lost control of the plane

and also my bowels. When I'm about to die in a plane crash I sometimes poop in the process. What can I say. The iguana had taken the only chute, so I had only one option left:

make a "Kon-Tiki" hang glider/life raft from the bales of marijuana. In seconds I strapped the bales together with sisal twine. I grabbed a case of Red Bull & shoved the thing out

to sea. Making a quick assessment, I noted I had plenty of food, drink, the latest issue of High Times & approximately four tons of the Herb Superb. And I lived happily ever after.