Ida burrowed down the bed & placed her ice

Ida burrowed down the bed & placed her ice cold feet into the crook of her husband's knees. "Stop squealing like a girl! You'll get used to it," she said as he squealed like a girl

and quickly succumbed to hypothermic shock. Ida's feet had finally done it. Her subzero hooves had rendered her husband's body unable to replenish the lost heat and he perished.

Ida killed many of her husbands with bone-rattling cold feet. She waited until the man would flop nito bed and stick her ice toes against them. She was known as the Black Ice Widow

, a cold soled temptress, waiting 'til her hubby slumbered she thrust her frosty feet against his spine. The shock did them in. JMan recognized the frostbite of the Black Ice Widow

The husband's eyes were frozen open: blue marbles staring in shock & agony. JMan tsked. The Black Ice Widow had eluded him for years. An icy blast blew into JMan's ear, turning it

into a wonderland for the mites inhabiting his aural canal. They spontaneously produced the oft-banned "Hookers on Ice", causing JMan tremendous discomfort. He scheduled an exam

At the clinic, three weeks from then. "Where's my Valium?", JMan shouted at his wife, who looked horrified at the sight of ear mites. She ran away and became a horse. JMan was too

uptight to admit to his family that his wife had left, and pretended that his wife had turned into one of the ear mites. "I toldja she was no good," said JMan's mother, who had

done a few stints as an ear mite herself in her twenties long before she met JMan's father. She told him she had been in the Peace Corp installing basketball courts in the Balkans.