Sir Anthony Wedgewood Hotpocket leant against

  • Sir Anthony Wedgewood Hotpocket leant against his marble mantel & poked at the fire vigorously. Lady Alphonsa Devere Buckle had just left her calling card which could mean only 1 t

  • hing. She would have to contact Sir Hotpocket via morse code. BEEP BEEP BEEP..beep..beep..beep.. BEEP BEEP BEEP.. "S.O.S" .

  • "Help me!" she screamed, "It's horrible! Save My Soup! My soup is burning! Please, please, anyone! Help me save my soup so that I can use it to give to some poor little orphans!"

  • The audience exploded into applause. Her face went red. "Why are you clapping?" she screamed. "My soup is burning! I need help!" Row by row they stood, their applause

  • deafening, their smiling faces a grotesque montage of sarcastic humor, their disdain for her burning soup, relentless. She fell to the ground as the audience cried "BRAVO!" Then

  • somehow she rose again, silent within and without, completely disregarding the mockers, and set the burnt soup aside. She made the soup again, and presented it to

  • the Soup Nazi. She kept her head down and backed away silently. He glared at the bowl, then dipped a spoon away from him and touched it to his lips. A minute passed. Then another.

  • The hallucinations came in waves. Volcanoes on the dining tables erupting tiny dinosaurs with the heads of celebrities. Soup patrons faces evolving geometrically. The Soup Nazi

  • gripped the soup spoon with shaky desperation to keep his trip from going totally dark. The Soup Nazi hung on to a shredded pleasant thought as a mental anchor, it was

  • impossible for him, being in a drug induced psychosis, to spell his name in German using overcooked Alpha-bits. The poor man drowned in his soup trying to suck out his initials.



  1. Gibber Oct 30 2014 @ 23:41

    49erFaithful - I like the way the Soup Nazi dipped the spoon AWAY from him. Is this to indicate his aberrant psychology?

  2. 49erFaithful Nov 03 2014 @ 14:32

    Thanks Gibber. I can't purport to understand the psychology of the Soup Nazi. But in my mind's eye, when putting spoon to soup, a Soup Nazi would always dip away, never towards.

  3. lucielucie Nov 03 2014 @ 15:24

    I dip the spoon away from me when I drink soup.

  4. 49erFaithful Nov 03 2014 @ 23:12

    What about when you prepare a soup sandwich? Do you spread back and forth or up and down. I pray it's not all around like the anarchists do.

  5. Gibber Nov 04 2014 @ 01:28

    Sorry, didn't mean to offend any soup dip-away-ers. I've given it some thought and I believe those that dip towards have an unconscious need to expose the bottom of their spoon to others, while those that dip away have a deep seated fear of exposing the bottom of their spoon to others. Of course this is a gross oversimplification of the complex motivations and ambivalent emotions involved with spoon dipping.

  6. Gibber Nov 04 2014 @ 01:34

    Sometimes when I'm alone I hold the spoon level and lower it in so the soup rushes in from all sides.

  7. lucielucie Nov 04 2014 @ 08:14

    Thanks for the soup inspiration: http://foldingstory.com/r49pb/ http://foldingstory.com/yuz87/

  8. PurpleProf Nov 04 2014 @ 09:47

    The proper way to eat soup: http://www.thekitchn.com/table-manners-the-proper-way-to-eat-soup-178927 Apparently, however, soup-eating rules are culture-bound.

  9. lucielucie Nov 05 2014 @ 17:45

    http://foldingstory.com/4zgr3/ I can't stop writing about soup.

  10. BlastedHeath Nov 06 2014 @ 21:04

    Sometimes my cat only dips the back of her spoon into the soup and licks it from there.

  11. Servant Nov 06 2014 @ 21:34

    Sometimes, when I'm alone or with people who don't mind, I will lick my bowl clean.

  12. PurpleProf Nov 06 2014 @ 21:48

    Sometimes, when I'm alone with my cat, I'll lick the back of my bowl, but only if my soup doesn't mind.

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