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What I actually wrote on the note to my crush

  • What I actually wrote on the note to my crush was "Meet you on Saturdsday". Little did I know that she would

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  • -n't live past Friday. My crush was an explosively feminine version of

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  • George Lopez. She was Hispanic and had no neck, but she had a thing for bathing in hydrangea juice just to prove how ladylike she was. Still, I was strangely attracted to her and I

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  • kicked myself again for not paying attention in my high school Spanish class. Now I had no way to ask her out except by gesturing. I smiled, pointed to her, then pointed to me.

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  • "Te quieres casar conmigo?" she said excitedly. "Mañana te presento a mis padres y después podemos discutir los detalles". I nodded, pretty sure we were going on a date.

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  • But in this rural corner of Chile, a kiss was as good as an engagement and when Marias father turned up for our "date" with a Padre and a posse of in-laws I learned spanish pronto

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  • with the help of Rosetta Stone. My accent was forced, and my words were a crude, broken spanglish at best. Maria wanted a fancy honeymoon, so I tried out for a testimonial spot

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  • On the shopping channel.

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  • It was the gondolier. With the deluxe Veg-O-Matic.

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  • Yes.. the gondolier in the study with the Veg-O-Matic! I rest my case.

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2 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Feb 14 2016 @ 07:09

    Balloon ride honeymoon turns out to be a mistake.

  2. Dhanithecat Feb 14 2016 @ 07:17

    Yes. Now I focus on new stories where its easier to create a better sentence or two. The old stories were good practise.

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