The best I can explain the feeling is like

The best I can explain the feeling is like somewhere between getting the birds 'n the bees talk from your parents and starting off the breakup talk with a long-time partner. It's

Christmas again. It's time to deck the halls, or deck my in-laws. Thank god I hid all the scotch bottles around the house. I can scotch my way through this holiday.

Oh, I scotched all right. I hopscotched, in fact, all the way to March 2 and didn't even realize Christmas & Valentine's Day had come & gone, along with my in-laws. Now it was time

. I phoned the Milk Marketing Board and asked to speak to Bernice. I put a handkerchief over the receiver and said, "Is there a picture of Bella DeAth on your cartons?" Bernice

paused, a sharp inhale fuming through the other end of the telephone. "Now let me see," Bernice pondered, "Ah yes, Bella DeAth with a capital A. She's right here on the carton."

Bernice was fired as principal and replaced with Electric Monk #12. EM12, as he called himself loved hiphop and skateboarding. This guy was wildly popular. Students loved him.

It was discovered that he was stealing charge from his charges to keep him fully charged. He argued that being Electric Monk #12 took a lot of energy. His fans could only spare him

from overheating a short while before they themselves overheated, and Electric Monk #12 burst into flames. Some nearby humans thought he had become Satan. This was not his day.

Then the Russia-North Korea Coalition came to save the day! Their collusion was so intense that the planet instantly fried to a crisp and... sorry, my heart just isn't in it.