"I'm doing it for the kids!" then she barfed
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"I'm doing it for the kids!" then she barfed all over my Fendi sunglasses. She looked up and saw pretty Malibu mountains.
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We'd been drinking on the beach through a humid California night. The dying embers of our bonfire leapt up and around us. We we're degenerates but goddammit we were sexy.
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Finally, Samira got bored of staring at the flames. She began to dance. I could see her silhouette against the moonlight on the waves. I wanted to stand up and join her, but
6 -
my swimsuit got lost in the tide. How long could I tread water watching Samira dance 'The Monkey' by the Midnight Surfing Shindig bonfire? Parts were getting wrinkly.
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The water was getting colder. Shrinkage was accelerating. That was a phenomenon I could ill-afford to let continue at this juncture. I cupped my junk and sprinted for the bonfire
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which quickly evaporated the water into steam and heated up my junk nicely, which started to plump like a ballpark frank. As my junk started to swell larger and larger I couldn't
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transport said junk with some lowly wheelbarrow. So, I laid my junk on Magnús Ver Magnússon's shoulder on my way to the butcher. "It's like throwing a hot dog down a straw," women
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murmured, as they stood back, admiring Magnús Ver Magnússon's brute strength. They admired me too, just by association, much to my delight. The butcher shop wasn't far off & Magnus
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threw me over his shoulder and bought 3 pounds of pigs trotters and a calf's brain. Magnus Ver Magnusson knew how to treat a girl. I busily jellied the trotters while he bounced
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the brains and that, boys and girls, should be a much more coherent allusion to the changes in your bodies than some metaphor about birds copulating with bees. Comprende?
5
- Started
- 2012-01-04 14:13:01
- Finished
- 2013-05-31 13:54:42
2 Comments
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lucielucie May 31 2013 @ 15:01
Magnus Ver Magnusson's shoulder was busy in this story. I laughed reading this one.
SlimWhitman Jun 03 2013 @ 18:19
So did I. The images.