53

"I'm doing it for the kids!" then she barfed

  • "I'm doing it for the kids!" then she barfed all over my Fendi sunglasses. She looked up and saw pretty Malibu mountains.

    4
  • We'd been drinking on the beach through a humid California night. The dying embers of our bonfire leapt up and around us. We we're degenerates but goddammit we were sexy.

    6
  • Finally, Samira got bored of staring at the flames. She began to dance. I could see her silhouette against the moonlight on the waves. I wanted to stand up and join her, but

    6
  • my swimsuit got lost in the tide. How long could I tread water watching Samira dance 'The Monkey' by the Midnight Surfing Shindig bonfire? Parts were getting wrinkly.

    6
  • The water was getting colder. Shrinkage was accelerating. That was a phenomenon I could ill-afford to let continue at this juncture. I cupped my junk and sprinted for the bonfire

    6
  • which quickly evaporated the water into steam and heated up my junk nicely, which started to plump like a ballpark frank. As my junk started to swell larger and larger I couldn't

    4
  • transport said junk with some lowly wheelbarrow. So, I laid my junk on Magnús Ver Magnússon's shoulder on my way to the butcher. "It's like throwing a hot dog down a straw," women

    5
  • murmured, as they stood back, admiring Magnús Ver Magnússon's brute strength. They admired me too, just by association, much to my delight. The butcher shop wasn't far off & Magnus

    6
  • threw me over his shoulder and bought 3 pounds of pigs trotters and a calf's brain. Magnus Ver Magnusson knew how to treat a girl. I busily jellied the trotters while he bounced

    5
  • the brains and that, boys and girls, should be a much more coherent allusion to the changes in your bodies than some metaphor about birds copulating with bees. Comprende?

    5

2 Comments

  1. lucielucie May 31 2013 @ 15:01

    Magnus Ver Magnusson's shoulder was busy in this story. I laughed reading this one.

  2. SlimWhitman Jun 03 2013 @ 18:19

    So did I. The images.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!