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MEMO to all citizens. Christmas is cancelled,

  • MEMO to all citizens. Christmas is cancelled, effective immediately. Please proceed directly to December 31. Happy new year!

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  • Mr Grynch often placed ads in the classified section of The Times however this year he did not expect to receive such a massive response

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  • to his personal ad which read: "Cranky old man seeks perfection." Perhaps it was the intriguing way his ad was worded,but literally hundreds of women wanted to meet him. Mr. Grynch

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  • wasn't really dating. He'd placed the add so Max would stop whining. Max was giddy. "See if any of them have a dog" said his eyes. The Grych stopped. Cindy Lou Hoo? My, she'd grown

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  • and grown and grown until her immense weight sunk the N. American continent. The Grych (formerly the Artist Formerly Known as The Grinch) dove to punishing depths to try to rescue

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  • William Shatner but Shatner was lodged in the Marianna Trench. His bloated torso caught on the marine canyon. He could feel cold water and squiggly things touching his lower half.

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  • Where was Spock when he needed him? The spaceship on Vulcan was nearly destroyed, so he fell to earth. Four years later, the whole galaxy had to be remapped and he was assigned to

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  • the graveyard shift. Spock groaned. "How illogical," he muttered to himself. "I'm a highly intelligent alien-human hybrid. I should have a better job. But no. Kirk always gets the

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  • babes. I'm so depressed I'm about ready to put on a red shirt!" Spock grumbled. "Don't do it, man!" Scotty cried, grabbing him by his ears and kissing his forehead, "We need you."

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  • He finally knew how he vital he was to the mission, but it was too late! For he secretly had a redshirt underneath his yellowshirt. "NOOO" Scotty cried as he died, semi-tragically.

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4 Comments

  1. EtherBot Sep 18 2016 @ 05:42

    Holy cow, I think I just killed off spock! Is.. this canon now?

  2. SlimWhitman Sep 18 2016 @ 09:41

    Spock must not die.

  3. Woab Sep 18 2016 @ 11:52

    It could also be read as that Scotty died. Then we could start a whole Scotty resurrection series. The Death of Scotty. The Regeneration of Scotty. Scotty the Cosmic Demigod. Etc.

  4. EtherBot Sep 22 2016 @ 15:14

    I also love how this went from the Grynch, to the Grinch, to the Cindy Lou Hoo apocalypse, to a rescue story about William Shatner... to a dramatic scene where Spock kills himself because of bad working hours... Just.. I... We only had ten sentences you guys, but I was more invested in this than the freaking hunger games

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