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The computer screen fade into life, a design

  • The computer screen fade into life, a design flourish that had replaced the flickering of old. He was glad for it. The caffeineless morning made every abrupt change into an event

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  • and he desperately needed a charge of some sort. The noise behind him was startling. He turned and therefore did not see, on the screen, that

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  • his favorite episode of Teletubbies was on. Instead, he ran to the nurse, who lifted him to the changing table, and removed the wet garment. Then came the powder, his favorite

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  • thing was to fart just after she slapped it on. A big white cloud shot out. He had full view of it's mass and directional flow. The nurse didn't get mad because he was baby, but

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  • her years at the sperm bank gave her the odd ability by using smell alone to guess race, age and even the most-recent meal of the donors. She was a hit at parties as

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  • people seem to like weirdos like her, especially when they're drunk. One drawback to this ability was that she could smell

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  • their pheromones and body odour quite distinctly, and it was telling her she needed to get the hell out of there before someone made a move and she'd have to take action.

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  • Because for every action, there is a Jackson. Flipping the fuck out as her hormones dictated, she started flip-jump-kicking everyone in the damn bar like a goddamn lunatic until

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  • she'd flipped everyone off their barchairs. Security came into the casino bar & removed her. The casino boss Jackson sent his wife to a doctor who diagnosed her with hyperhormonal

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  • jaw flapping cold appendage syndrome, commonly referred to as 'womanhood'. "I KNEW IT!" Jackson exclaimed when his wife reported the diagnosis. Please donate now towards a cure.

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