Everything starts somewhere, although many

Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.

At T.G.I. Friday's, physicists disagree about where this somewhere is. "The proper start to a meal is BBQ Chicken Flatbread." "No, the origin of dinner is Tuscan Spinach Dip."

The waiters, often scantily-clad, were philosophers, nutritionists, and various other professions that helped diffuse the situation. "Starting a meal is culturally relative," said

one enlightened waiter, "May I suggest..." But all I heard was blahblahblahblah. I noticed the waiter had his Speedo on inside out AND a small booger hanging from his nose. I order

Private Witless to arrest the waiter and take him to the military base for "questioning/waterboarding". At the base Private Witless trips over a pile of potatoes

young mistress. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry ma'am!" he apologized, reaching over to help her. The Colonel intervened, striking Private Witless in the groin with a small sack of russets.

While Private Witless was writhing on the ground, the young woman picked up a slightly bruised apple and bit into it. She showed the half maggot inside to the Colonel & swallowed t

-he piece with relish. "Damn fine," said the Colonel, "now if you'll just finish off the rest of these wormy apples, I'll proceed with Private Witless's court-martial." She didn't

finish them because just as she bit into one a worm popped out & said "The Colonel's rotten to the core & a scoundrel too." Sure enough he was an imposter so they shot him instead.