The internet trolls are under your bed, in

  • The internet trolls are under your bed, in your closet, and in your head.

  • One of the trolls has taken over your fingers this very moment. Hi! My name is Terence. From now on, you are me and I am you. I will do all that your subconscious self desires.

  • "That's when the Troll named Terence that lives under my bridge of consciousness forced me to jab you in the eye." Grandma shut her swollen eye, 5 year old Timmy's explanation was

  • that Grandma had fallen off the swing, but Grandpa wasn't buying that story. Grandpa grabbed his musket and marched down to Terence the Troll's lair and had words with him.

  • "Terence," Grandpa shouted from outside the troll's lair. "I aim to shoot and kill you for pushing Grandma off the swing and breaking her funny bone. You got any last words befor

  • before your death?" I am shooked. I didn't push Grandma off the swing! Katie framed me! It's her fault! Why do I have to take the blame!

  • "You're the one that volunteered to be the scapegoat. Taking all the blame is exactly what you signed up for so stop being a pussy about it", said his little sister, Katie, the rea

  • lly bratty one. He baaed. He could figure out half of being a scapegoat, but what in the hay was a scape exactly? He tried to look up the answer in the half-chewed dictionary.

  • He only found half of an answer. ‘Noun. A long, leafless—‘and the rest of the page was eaten. He baa’ed angrily and tried to figure out how to mime that.

  • It was at that moment--as he stared at his cloven hooves, and then saw his hairy, goat-like face in the mirror--it was then that he smiled and thought, "Charles Darwin was right!"



  1. MadWorld Feb 03 2019 @ 12:51

    I was moved by the baa'ed and went with evolution...but now I see that it was not a "real" goat...it was a scapegoat...and the emphasis was on the word "scape." Therefore, I re-submit line 10 to read as follows: He didn’t know how to mime, not with cloven hooves. Someone yanked the scape from his mouth, shredding it across his teeth. Those scepter-like scenic patterns were all he lived for...now they were gone forever."

  2. LordVacuity Feb 04 2019 @ 15:41

    Get scapegoated enough and you really do turn into a literal scapegoat, hooves and all.

  3. SlimWhitman Feb 05 2019 @ 17:08

    Yes, I read it like that. Cloven hooved stories are a-bounding.

  4. MadWorld Feb 05 2019 @ 19:36

    Cloven-hooved characters are evolving.

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