Garth never like Jimi Hendrix. Honestly.

Garth never like Jimi Hendrix. Honestly. He knew Hendrix's guitar skills were really good. But he had never drove around listening to Hendrix. He listened mostly out of fear that

anyone who lit guitars on stage must be working for the devil. He even played his guitar left handed, another sign! Determined, He turned his songs into safe muzak. Purple Haze was

a song from like the 60s or something. Anyways, determined to distance himself from the southpaw's inflammatory guitar playing, he instead installed airbags on his guitar which

would engage during the 2nd chorus, dislocaring his jaw and breaking a tooth. The trick is catching ir mid airso as to use it as a guitar pick. Rumor has it that he plans on

fond of exploding Yorkshire Terriers - really, not fond of ANY breed of dog exploding - but that's not what really got them pissed about the band. It was their insistence on

playing 3 Dog Night songs while all this was going on! The band struck up "Shambala" and BOOM, there went another Yorkshire Terrier. "Joy to the World" and SPLAT, another exploded

Labrador Retriever.They picked up the tempo on "He's got the whole world in his hands" and English Bulldogs' heads started popping smearing English Bulldog brain all over the place

mats. "Dammit, I just bought these things!" Dana screamed. She folded her arms and scowled. "Sure, I got them cheap at an estate sale, but they are..." She burst into tears. "They

were antiques!" Her anger faded to a deep sadness. "They were something special we could look back at and remember just how far we had come." She sighed and knew it was over.