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Garth never like Jimi Hendrix. Honestly.

  • Garth never like Jimi Hendrix. Honestly. He knew Hendrix's guitar skills were really good. But he had never drove around listening to Hendrix. He listened mostly out of fear that

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  • anyone who lit guitars on stage must be working for the devil. He even played his guitar left handed, another sign! Determined, He turned his songs into safe muzak. Purple Haze was

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  • a song from like the 60s or something. Anyways, determined to distance himself from the southpaw's inflammatory guitar playing, he instead installed airbags on his guitar which

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  • would engage during the 2nd chorus, dislocaring his jaw and breaking a tooth. The trick is catching ir mid airso as to use it as a guitar pick. Rumor has it that he plans on

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  • pulling all his teeth out to use as guitar picks. I can't see a problem with the strategy as the band aren't going to last the next concert in Glasgow anyway. Glaswegians are not

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  • fond of exploding Yorkshire Terriers - really, not fond of ANY breed of dog exploding - but that's not what really got them pissed about the band. It was their insistence on

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  • playing 3 Dog Night songs while all this was going on! The band struck up "Shambala" and BOOM, there went another Yorkshire Terrier. "Joy to the World" and SPLAT, another exploded

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  • Labrador Retriever.They picked up the tempo on "He's got the whole world in his hands" and English Bulldogs' heads started popping smearing English Bulldog brain all over the place

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  • mats. "Dammit, I just bought these things!" Dana screamed. She folded her arms and scowled. "Sure, I got them cheap at an estate sale, but they are..." She burst into tears. "They

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  • were antiques!" Her anger faded to a deep sadness. "They were something special we could look back at and remember just how far we had come." She sighed and knew it was over.

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1 Comments

  1. lucielucie Oct 21 2013 @ 16:35

    Glaswegians are a famously tough crowd.

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