Kneeling among the sea of bodies littering

Kneeling among the sea of bodies littering the coast, my gaze drifted once more to the stars. How did it end like this? "I just wanted to see the planetarium." It had all seemed so

pointless, life and its typical banality, until I had discovered cosmology. Now, weeping amidst the corpses covering the beach for kilometers, my soul was again a starless vacuum.

but as anyone who has studied a bit of cosmology knows, a vacuum is not empty. And so a fluctuation produced a protouniverse in my soul which rapidly expanded. Soon tiny beings

colonized the habitable regions of my soul. The tiny beings begin to question my existence and build machines. Meanwhile, I was trying to understand the meaning of life by

checking Google News, the Drudge Report and Facebook a few times a day, hoping to triangulate on The Meaning. Meanwhile, the microbeings in my soul were similarly communicating via

the anal probe in the usual manner. Everytime I cried, microbeings got flushed out through my tear ducts & died on the arid cliffs of my cheeks. They wanted me to stop watching rom

per room.They wanted me to stop acting childish. Of course I had every good reason to cry. Wouldn't you if you were me? Of course you would. I blew a snot bubble & shifted slightly

all over the drapes. Those drapes were 30,000 dollars and my mother had recieved them as a gift from Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson for her Bar Mitzvah. Now I knew I was in deep deep

doo doo. I quit my bookmaking job, moved to Wales and joined a Welsh loansharking outfit called "The Pipsqueaks." I never did replace the drapes. Screw my Mom. Screw "The Rock!"