"Who the hell doesn't like the movie Bootie

"Who the hell doesn't like the movie Bootie Call?" he screamed into the store PA system. He was steaming happy and wanted answers later. He shrieked at

the blockbuster employee that had rounded the corner to trap him in the "Thriller" section. Making a break, he kicked over the stand, leaving those in the next row buried in Drama

- worse yet - 90s chick flicks. They were drowning in bad Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan and Hugh Grant movies and crying for help as they were slowly crushed by the weight of mediocrity.

The sea of outmoded VHS tapes overcame the couple as they sank further and further down into the 90s film abyss (ironically including Abyss), until the Blockbuster manager

through the time machine called a movie rental store. Past the shelves of DVDs and VHS tapes, we arrived an unassuming case marked "8 track soundtracks". Upon closer inspection,

all the glue that held the two ends of the magnetic tape had degraded so bad that we feared even putting them in an 8-track player. Except one, marked "Niel Diamond" we played this

on non-stop rotation. "SONG SUNG BLUE EVERYB..." Our 4 part harmony was interupted by large cinder block cascading off the hood. "Not a Diamond fan, I guess," someone muttered.

The sudden and gruesome mess of blood and crushed bodies was no surprise to onlookers, as they had been slightly annoyed by the singing and mostly sighed in relief at the outcome.

They began to sing their own song, and their music drowned out all of the calls of the birds and the wind and all natural sounds. The greates band on this world had been forged!