I watch TV and hear the click-click-click

I watch TV and hear the click-click-click of our whippet's nails as she patrols between kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and living room and back again. Then the clicking stopped.

I hit "mute" on the TV and looked round. What the hell was that do...he was standing right beside my chair, looking straight into my eyes. "Steve", she said, "we need to talk."

Oh God. It was the "Steve, we need to talk" spiel again. I sighed and put down the remote, all the while keeping a peripheral eye on Kentucky vs. Wisconsin. "Now what?" I asked.

had an affair last week. And a different one the week before. And so on really, but at least it's never long with the same guy. That's ok with you, right Badger?" She said. Badger

! I hate it when she calls me Badger, but she was just baiting me, and I wasn't biting. I said, "Oh, sure love. Just be sure to use proper protection. You know the humane society

is only a phone call away, but you still need to be careful." "I've had my shots," she protested but put on her protective suit and leather gloves. "All set Badger. Open the door."

Badger opened the door and in came his family. The wife, the cousins and the little badgers just growing their teeth. She stared at them for a minute until they said, "Auntie!'

Badger made a vague gesture towards the back of the warren and rushed into the kitchen, presumably to fetch drinks. The intruding family looked at each other, puzzled. "I smell Aun

t Wanda...nobody smells like Aunt Wanda...sour milk, sour tangerine, lard, and, well...just plan old B.O. "Say, listen, if your fetching drinks," someone said. "I'll have cognac!"