Shelly left for work every morning at 6:00

Shelly left for work every morning at 6:00 am. She always put on her shoes, before grabbing her keys, and driving to work. This morning was different however,

Fortunately (or unfortunately) Shelly was absentminded enough to not notice them staring at her naked toes, but instead was humming the tune to

"Footloose." He only stared harder at Shelly's defenseless, naked toes. Didn't she notice all her shoes had gone missing? Or that her socks were stretched out of shape? The humming

bird tried to extract nectar from Shelly's ear.She was so sweet, he realized. Like a flower.A naked flower with no shoes.He suddenly realized what they meant by "birds & the bees."

Shelly started to stir and swatted at the bird. "What is that annoying feeling by my ear?" she thought as she tried to move her hand. "Why am I naked?" Her thoughts were fuzzy as

saw herself justify the question by getting naked. Was she naked simply because she questioned being naked? Her nakedness took on a more sinister tone. The little bird told her Der

-Der it was too lumpy, and advised her to put her clothes back on. Smart bird, even though I have no idea what it is talking about. But she ignored the bird and traipsed about in

the nude, her lumpy butt sloshing about like a pan of unset lemon Jell-O with bananas. BAM! Stunned, the woman turned to see the bird on its back, dead from self-inflicted gunshot.

“Great, that bird was worth a FORTUNE and he had to go off himself!” Hoping to recoup her loss, she took the bird to a taxidermist. She got only a few bucks for the finished mount.