Dear Editor: I believe I have an improvement.

  • Dear Editor: I believe I have an improvement. Can I have a do-over? Dear Sir: This isn't a game of stickball. We just spent $600,000 to publish your Complete Guide to

  • Completing Complete Guides, and aren't about to drop another cent. Dear Editor: But it's a really good improvement. Dear Sir: Do you comprehend English? No. Non. Nyet. Dear Editor:

  • Meta is selling like hot cakes these days, give me another chance. Dear Sir: I run a publishing house not a Dadaist atelier, get with the program. Dear Editor: What if I add

  • in some punctuation? Dear Sir: Yes, that would help. Please read before punctuating & don't randomly scatter commas, apostrophes etc. around. Dear Editor: I refuse to use semi colo

  • n cleansers. Nope. Full boat for me. I use super industrial strength extreme with abrasive Colon Cleanser." When the editor read that note he was having breakfast for dinner and

  • a little of his poached egg regurgitated into his mouth. The publisher was sitting across from him &, grossed out, tried to hold down his pancakes, but spewed the all over

  • the syrup bottles. The IHOP waitress was also grossed out. She covered her own mouth and ran away. The publisher apologized and asked him to pick up the tab. "I'm desperate, but

  • I just can't get enough of this stuff. This Ghost-Pepper-Sriracha-Boysenberry syrup is gonna make me rich! RICH, I tells ya! Woohoo!" The publisher then flipped over two tables and

  • Just in time to protect himself from a huge whale penis.that came crashing through the roof. How on earth did this happen? He phoned Greenpeace to see if they knew what could

  • be done about this spike in paranormal activity, but the phone line was dead. The door was locked. The windows were barred and barricaded. It took three months to find his body.



  1. 49erFaithful Apr 21 2015 @ 12:00

    Lol, the whale peni returneth.

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