The shaolin monk headbutted the precocious

The shaolin monk headbutted the precocious child for simmering all the flavor out of his

ramen noodles. "Take the pebble out of my hand, grasshopper." The kid, still reeling, made a grab for it. "Crane at ease, boot-to-the-head." They kid went through the rice screen.

"Patience, young grasshopper. You must focus." The kid stomped his foot. "I'm trying!" "Do or do not. There's no try. One day you will snatch the pebble from my hand. Then you will

truly be a professional asshole. The boy turned around and absorbed the earths energy. He raised his hands and whipped around, and screamed, "KAMEHAMEHA!!!" But sadly,

these were not the magic words & the earth swallowed him before he could finish his task. Mother Earth sighed. When, oh when, would a worthy enough boy discover the Secret of

Not Being a Complete Ass. You'd think 3 billion+ chances would be enough, but no. Mother Earth had never yet encountered a boy who Understood. They were all different gradations of

auditioning to become a testicular model. In walked Costanza with oven mitts on his hands. His glowing face fell when he realized where his agent had sent him. "No..." He retreated

and his testicles retracted - it was a wasted bus ticket to that audition! Costanza called his agent to fire him on the spot. "I don't think they'll ever descend again!" "But Costi

nople had one last trick to save his porn star career. He pulled out the magic viagra pill and viola! His testicles and erection had returned! And he lived happily ever after.