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Whirling clouds of black smoke danced across

  • Whirling clouds of black smoke danced across the plains, as if it was an ordinary day in Hades. But this wasn't Hades. And this was no ordinary day.

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  • This was the day I got my period.The fucking time loop I could not escape!I felt like Bill Murray:stuck in a vicious circle...I wanted it to be over once and for all so I

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  • texted Bill Murray for advice. Bill Murray is the only extant American comedian who has periods just like us. This explains his unique insight into the female psyche. GIRLFRIEND!

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  • ...Texted Bill Murray in response...YOU MUST COME TO THE PMS PARTY WE'RE HAVING AT THE GROUNDHOG PAVILION!She packed her pads and tampons and a few extra for Bill and

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  • Hillary because my god, they have really been on the rag lately. But Bill Murray did not want to go to the PMS party empty handed. He wanted to be the belle of the ball so to speak

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  • So Bill Murray showed up to the PMS Party dressed like the mama-san from Kung Fu Hustle. He played the drums in character and brought down the house. Later, with Hillary beside him

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  • He made a bonfire with her head and Bill's in light of the new reality. This was no joke, he was reading literary texts to violin and piano accompaniment on October 31st, 2017.

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  • But on November 1st, 2018, he was convicted of bad taste and murder, when local police discovered the charred remains of two skulls in his yard. Dental records showed that Bill and

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  • Will, as the forensic scientists nicknamed the skulls, were actually made of plastic, and the real bodies were elsewhere.He could still be convicted of bad taste because the skulls

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  • were painted bright green and dark blue. Seahawks colors. Everybody knows the New England Patriots are the best team out there. Yeah, that guy's gonna get what's coming to him.

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2 Comments

  1. KieferSkunk Dec 31 2018 @ 04:19

    ...and I live near Seattle, so my line is blasphemy around here. ;)

  2. Woab Dec 31 2018 @ 14:26

    I gave you a "LIKE" for blasphemy.

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