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It was carnage, pure and simple - when Wile

  • It was carnage, pure and simple - when Wile E. activated the Acme Mundaninator, suddenly cartoon physics (and cartoon chemistry for that matter) went out the window - falls were

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  • under Newton's laws. No drifting out beyond the end of the cliff with time to wave before fallling straight down, or explosives the just cause black singed skin. Wiley E. realized

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  • he was a cartoon. This was a game changer for they Coyote. He climbed a desert cliff and Wile E. sat beneath a saguaro. It dawned on him that he would never catch the Road Runner

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  • . Wiley E. lost his purpose in life. He became depressed. Slept for days underneath that saguaro. Unpaid bills from the Acme Corporation piled up. He resigned from Warner Bros.

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  • He didn't return calls from his wife. His house became neglected and dusty. The lawns now consisted of weeds and weevils. There was no more sunshine in the sun, only blinding

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  • Pain and regret. His wife became president, of course. The day he got the call from her he'd been digging his own grave in the garden. She told him she wanted him back. She gasped

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  • when she heard the female voice in the background calling him to dinner. "Babe, you may be leader of the free world, but no one can hold a candle up to Lorna's casseroles." Sirens

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  • Sounded outside and the food police banged on the door. They polished off everything. We had to cook all over again. What the hell? "They were hungry", the female voice said.

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  • "Screw that!Bloody coppers...""Hush.Start again with the onions",she commanded.I repeated the preparations, cooking the meal a second time."But this time",I said,chaining myself to

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  • the living room potty, "I want to finish up with the garlic in my bulb-shaped vegetable medley." "But honey," she recited, "You never keep the turnips waiting."

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