I turned around, my opponent right on my

I turned around, my opponent right on my tail. I had to make it away fast before something really bad happened. Something really bad like- "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

He hit me with that killing curse that is one of the unforgivable! I thought back to my primary Hogwart's days. "I am rubber and you are glue.What you say will stick on you!?"

Lord Voldemort laughed an antagonistic, bellowing laugh and threw more jarring insults my way. This time I was prepared. I aimed my trusty wand in his face and shouted

to Hermione "holy shit, when did you get all hot?" Lord Voldemort took my distraction as an opportunity and cast "Avada Kavadra" at that little ginger bitch, Ron.

Pearlman threw the script across the floor. "I SHOULD HAVE BEEN VOLDEMORT!!!" DID THEY SEE MY SHTICK IN HELL BOY!" Ron's agent picked the script up and unbuttoned his tie

"This script is worthy of an oscar! I shall call Al Pacino and Meryl Streep for the lead roles!" With that Ron Pearlman turned red and and two stumps grew on his forehead

with the faces of Steven Moffat on one and Tom Green on the other. The script lit on fire--not to burn up, but to scald its wretched contents irrevocably onto the coffee table.

My favorite coffee table, no less. My Steven Moffat/Tom Green coffee table became quite a conversation piece at parties. "The strangest things happen to you!" my guests would say.

One day Steven Moffat, who supported one end of my coffee table on his hands & knees, asked if he could go home. Tom Green, at the other end had Sockholm Syndrome, so was no bother