"Concrete Shoes,Cyanide, TNT, Neckties, Contracts,High

"Concrete Shoes,Cyanide, TNT, Neckties, Contracts,High Voltage. Done Dirt Cheap! Call me anytime." It seemed like a solicitation to her so she picked up the phone & dialed 36 24 36

and was answered by a robotic voice. "How may I help you?" asked the voice. "I'd like Deputy Sam kil

t." The robotic voice seemed confused, so I repeated myself. "Yes, I would like Deputy Sam's kilt, but a little shorter." I mean, my legs were so much hairier, and I want to show

how my testosterone regiment had finally allowed me to reach puberty at the age of 43. Though, I may have overdone it as I look like a wookie when nude. Finally, the klit was giv

much petroleum jelly on my hands caused the body wax to slip from my grip and roll onto the floor. As I leant over to grab the body wax I noticed a small round metal container with

the words "mother's ashes" inscribed upon it. i was so chagrinned. I was sure the Terminix man had stolen it for shits snd giggles on his most recent spraying. If only he hadn't

used my mother's urn for a spitoon. Revenge. The Terminix man would pay for what he had done. This trusty glue gun and mentos will be sure to

ensure the worst imaginable demise of the Terminix man. I waited until he crawled into the crawlspace & silently hot glued 5147 mentos to the back of his shorts. Then I poured Coke

from a 1000 2 liters into the crawlspace. The resulting explosion blew the house into splinters & my shorts off my frame. Now pants-emancipated, I began the search for a new home.