"Concrete Shoes,Cyanide, TNT, Neckties, Contracts,High

"Concrete Shoes,Cyanide, TNT, Neckties, Contracts,High Voltage. Done Dirt Cheap! Call me anytime." It seemed like a solicitation to her so she picked up the phone & dialed 36 24 36

and was answered by a robotic voice. "How may I help you?" asked the voice. "I'd like Deputy Sam kil

how my testosterone regiment had finally allowed me to reach puberty at the age of 43. Though, I may have overdone it as I look like a wookie when nude. Finally, the klit was giv

ing into the treatment and began to look more phallic in shape and size. I looked at myself in the mirror. "Looking good." I winked at myself then turned to grab the body wax. Too

much petroleum jelly on my hands caused the body wax to slip from my grip and roll onto the floor. As I leant over to grab the body wax I noticed a small round metal container with

the words "mother's ashes" inscribed upon it. i was so chagrinned. I was sure the Terminix man had stolen it for shits snd giggles on his most recent spraying. If only he hadn't

used my mother's urn for a spitoon. Revenge. The Terminix man would pay for what he had done. This trusty glue gun and mentos will be sure to

ensure the worst imaginable demise of the Terminix man. I waited until he crawled into the crawlspace & silently hot glued 5147 mentos to the back of his shorts. Then I poured Coke

from a 1000 2 liters into the crawlspace. The resulting explosion blew the house into splinters & my shorts off my frame. Now pants-emancipated, I began the search for a new home.